if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Randomize
