Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
