do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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