A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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