:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
