I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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