guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
