I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just sent this text using only my big toe
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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