just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
