Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
how does that bad decision feel?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
