We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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