24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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