Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
