cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
