nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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