you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
