You made me cry and you don't even care
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
