I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
