i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
