I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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