dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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