im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
