this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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