There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
