He is an equal opportunity slut.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
