Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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