Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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