You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
