don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
