he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Your dad touched me again.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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