Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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