i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
