The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
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