fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
