Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
