we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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