We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
