yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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