Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
