I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
