i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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