so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
