is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
