you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
