just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
