Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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