Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
