he thought i was a dude.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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