what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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