Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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