There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
