i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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