She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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